Sayanora, Chennai..

You were home for more than half my life. You watched me grow into first a girl and then a troubled teenamd now i'm a doubtful twenty year old.. You saw my disappointments, felt my happiness, and gave me such a huge variety of friends - ranging from maniacal obsession to sweet monkey-boy.
And so many things have happened in the last fifteen years that I can no longer think of Chennai as just another city but as one where I lost, won and survived.

To all the people of Chennai who were some important parts of my life:

The auto annas - I just could not have survived without you guys. My major transport and first choice everytime I needed to reach somewhere on time..

The watchman of M.O.P. - What a guy! How much fun he must have detaining girls inside a place that was then, akin to jail!

My Adyar corner storekeeper - How many Lays have I bought from him in 11th and 12th counting out carefully scrounged and saved 50p coins!

The waiters of Sweet Chariot (one particular mustached grumpy-face): who were so used to us, they would hardly feel the need to get us the menu, or the orders. We were almost part of the scenery!

The managers of CookieMan: Other than marketing their product so well using mere olfactory advertising, these unique people unknowingly created so many situations in my life that were life changing.

The warden of WCH: Ma'am, I really hail your efficiency in managing the 250 girls in that hostel without any difficulty at all. And I promise I was not part of the mallu gang who put lime and chilli powder outside your door to make you think you're cursed!

The people at Satyam Cinema: So many movies.. Need I say more?

One particular police uncle: For creating the one memorable incident in my life which I will always associate with peeing in my pants.. almost..


To my friends in Chennai:
C'mon, guys.. quit saying that you will miss me! I will keep coming.. Its not like I'm completely moving out.. half my family is still here, for god's sakes!

Sinds - What am I going to do without you? Who'll tsk-tsk, scold and pinch my cheeks? :-( I love you, my funny sister-ish friend..
Ta - Why did we have to meet so late, monkey-boy? I'm leaving today and you're leaving tom.. I don't know if we'll keep in touch. But you better gimme that sketch in May.
Su - Gtalk rocks, babe. It will continue to rock, I hope! :-(
Sau - Journal pardner! What are we going to do to keep in touch?
Ka - Babe! You helped more than you know.. :-) love ya
Sha - What I owe you? It will come one day in the post and you'll quit nodding your head so knowingly thinking that its an empty promise.. :-) just gimme your address!
D, L, N - Thanks for being there. (although L and N dont know all this yet! I wonder how they'll react! Please gimme all details, D)
Ar - Sorry, da. I wish I had known earlier to tell you. It was sudden. Will miss you loads.
Adi - Will miss you. And esp your good morning msgs. Keep in touch.
M, A - Words are so not enough for what I feel. Really.

To other people I wish I knew personally (I almost feel I do.)
Mukund - Its a pity we never met. It would have been nice to know, vakil saar.
Sthupit girl - Girl! I never knew I would have to leave like this - all of a sudden.. I would have made sure I met you otherwise.. Keep me informed about Chennai.. and don't let your hair gray too much, grandma.

Anew.

I feel dead.
Numb inside.
Somethings can't be suppressed for too long for one, they are inevitable and two how much ever you try, it is obvious. And when you are faced with the looming reality towering tall, all you can possibly think of doing is allowing life to take its natural course...
(thanks, sush.)

Have you ever watched the stars come out at night? They come out one by one. Almost afraid to face the darkening sky and all those tiny two legged's peering up at it. When they finally come out, though, they shine to their brightest and twinkle happily forgetting their fears. How I wish I was like a star. Every night I'd get a new chance to prove myself.
As it is, I have lost many chances to insecurities, complexes and the subtle workings of my sub-conscious mind. I vow never again to let go of something that was precious and good because of some silly insecurity.
Oh. and I also vow never to write a post headed 'Doubts'. I have too many of those on my blog already.
Its time for the sun to set. A new day to begin. A new night to face. A new session of twinkling to do.