If wishes were horses, I wish I could fly..

I think so frequently that other people live better, more interesting, consequently more fuller lives than I do. I see albums titled 'monkey truffle', profiles titled 'Blue apple in a bowl of moon-custard'. And then I think.. Sigh. Is it just me or do people just take random words and swirl them around in a bowl of water like paint?
I dont have anything against them, at all. I truly appreciate their inane, insane creativity. And then the pictures! Oh Lord!! The innumerable number of mad photos and each with their unique crazy caption. What happened to lame old cheesy smiles and corny poses anyway? And captions that start with 'L-R:' ?
I feel old and crusty. Like I am a generation older than all these cracked brains. And the worst part is I dont know whether to believe that these people with their weird pics, captions, profile names, etc are weird in real life as well.. Cos well most of these people are acquaintances or childhood friends who I hardly remember.

Do they yell and scream at restaurants with other people staring at their table cos of the loud dirty jokes and laughs? Did they take a sporadic trip on a train not knowing where their destination was but ended going to the zoo? Did they ever eat over 13 things in a chaat place for under 200 rupees and then spend the rest of the evening laughing at funny lingerie, high on food? Do they get so totally drunk that they lie down on the beach with the water and the sand passing over their faces (almost)? Do they put their entire torso out of a bus window just because its raining and they havent got rained on in a long time? Did they ever convince everyone that spring rolls were the only thing worth eating in the canteen and subsequently order fifty spring rolls just for their table? Do they giggle and dirty-talk and bite each other's arms just to prove to everyone else that they just might be in love even when they know they arent? Do they spend hours on a cool cloudy night talking about the universe or eating biriyani on the porch while its raining on their feet? Do they spend time and money on a stray puppy that has such a nasty festering wound on its ass that its tail almost falls off? Did they ever have to search the kitchen in the middle of the night for the refridgerator key that kept them ten cms away from a midnight snack? Do they cry like babies when they just arent allowed to get into the pool just because they're a lil drunk and its time to go? Or do they much much weirder things?

I have hardly any pictures of all the crazy moments in my life (both mine and my friends'- We were too busy doing those things than worrying abt getting a camera!!) But I sure wish I did.

That kissable corner!!

James McAvoy is so kissable. I want to have his babies. And he's got that perfect corner of the mouth you dont often see. Just look at it. So fucking tempting.

I should have been born in Scotland, named Annie Duff and been his co-star in Shameless.

Shit.

That horrid horrid man.

I dont know why I never watched the movie 'Bella' before. Its the kind of movie I would have loved to watch back when it came out. On the big screen. I thought it was a chick flick. But it isnt. It is so much more.
I'm just in my twenties. Then why do I hear that biological clock ticking so badly? Maybe its just that I need someone. Want a close relationship with someone who was all mine. Jeez. I shouldnt have kids. I'd probably turn out to be one of those psychotic parents who would never let anyone talk to their kids or let them out of the house, to 'protect them from the rest of the world'.
Talking of psychotic parents.. Josef Fritzl was/is the heights, isnt he? The man should be first castrated, his balls strung up on a kebab stick and then he should be put into an asylum.

Sigh. Enough with the abuse. I really need so many things at this point in my life.. and my career plans are going nowhere. I feel like I need a booster doze optimism. Help!

Rainy Nights and Smiling Eyes

The rain felt good as I opened the window. As I put my hand out and felt the drops fall, I felt as though I was dreaming. I hadn't felt this good in ages. You know? That dreamy feeling right at the centre of your heart when your throat goes all dry and you feel like as if you're floating and sinking at the same time? When you have butterflies in your stomach but they're a good sort, the sort that makes you want to close your eyes and enjoy the feeling. The feeling of his eyes on you and every action of yours. I smiled at the soft pitter patter of the raindrops on my hand. Everyone else must have thought I was mad. They had all closed their windows and were sitting tightly bound to their seats. I felt sorry for them. All of them. Even him. As I leaned back in my seat with my hand still out the window, I couldn't think of any other place I'd rather be than in this bus. The bus turned a corner and I stole a look at him from the corner of my eye and giggled when I saw he had opened his window too. And was looking outside like as if he had never seen rain before. God. He was cute.
How Iwished then I was inside a movie. 'Jab We Met' or 'Before Sunrise' or at least that I was born in the US and had no inhibitions or qualms about 'what people would think of me'. But most of all I just wished I had the guts to just go and talk to him without the innate all-pervading fear of rejection.
'Hey. The guy behind me was talking on his phone too loudly. I cant sit there another minute..'
'Hey, I've decided to make at least one new friend on every trip I make, this year. Can I sit here?'
'Hey. I'm bored. I know you are too. I saw you playing games on your phone. What if we have one of those long interesting conversations - the stuff of books and movies? Game?'
'Hey. You're cute. I like you. Wanna make phrendship with me?'

Jeez. I shuddered when I considered the desperate depths to which I have fallen. But he was oh. so. c. u. t. e. And we had not one moment but five separate eye-meets-eye magical moments. HE was never going to make a move. He was probably afraid of a slap. I wasn't afraid of a slap. I don't know what I was afraid of. It felt like all my muscles had frozen and the only ones that could move were on my face. I couldn't stop smiling!
And just as I finally summoned the guts to get up and plonk myself next to the empty seat next to him... Guess what happened? Some idiot of an uncle comes and sits himself down right there. Thank god I hadn't actually gotten up. The prospect of spending the rest of the night imagining conversations with a stranger who I was not ever likely to see again or speak to ever - Daunting.
But I did. Imagine, I mean.

And do you know what happened in the morning? When we reached our destination, he was still asleep. So I prodded him awake. And he said thank you. You would have thought I would have said something then. I didn't. I was in too much of a hurry to get out. Well? What do you expect? A twelve hour journey with no good bathrooms on the way and you expect me to linger and socialize? I needed to pee, for god's sakes!!! I left him looking around bewildered. I think he was looking for me.
Sigh. (and still smiling.)

Oh you cute, hot, large-handed, broad hunk of perfection.. I hope we bump into each other somewhere somehow. Then I can call it fate. And I WILL get your number, I promise... ;)