The other day, my sister was watching some silly thing on Pogo. Pogo is such a silly channel. (Still its the one channel everyone at home has to watch - else my brat of a sister will make a huge fuss with teary eyes and a runny nose - yes, I know how cute she looks. She isnt really all that adorable. I mean, we arent even allowed to talk when Tom and Jerry is on even if its an episode she's watched a hundred times on DVD!)
I asked her, politely, if she'd let me have the remote she was hugging(hogging?) cos I just wanted to see something for a minute and I promised I'd let her have it back(fat chance!). Well she's too clever for me, now and refused to give it.
I had two options.
1. Wait patiently by her side until she let guard down.
2. Grab it from her forcefully - this almost never works. Even if I do happen to get the remote(which is not easy - five year olds are really vicious) she starts crying and I have to give it back. Sigh.

So I waited. And then Pogo in a rare show of brilliance put on Snow White, the cartoon movie (surprising since Harry Potter is the ONLY movie they actually put on - for May 'movie magic', and Diwali Dhamakha and August something something... yes, I know the names of the silly program schedules. How pathetic is that? Well - you try having a five year old sister who wont eat or sleep without watching Noddy or Oswald. )

As I was watching Snow White, I was watching my sister's reactions to what was happening onscreen. She was so engrossed and involved in the movie, and except to look at me, occassionally and ask 'nice, no? you like the movie?' patronisingly that was cute in a way, she didnt take her eyes off the tv.
Sitting there watching her watch the movie, I wondered where she would be in fifteen years (that would make her 20) and what she would be doing.
Then I realised in fifteen years, I would be bloody 34.
And I dont want to think about what I would be doing then.
Sigh... 14 years is a long gap between sisters. She'll never think of me as a sister - prolly as some sorta aunt. Poor kid.

Scratch that - poor me! When I'm 35, I'll have kids who look upto my sister as a sister.
Phew! How screwed up is that?

English, I tell you!

Men-struation.
Men-arche.
Men-opause.

If you're thinking this is going to be a feminist post.. well, I dont know yet. It may become one.
What the hell is wrong with this world where a woman's important bilogical functions all begin with 'men' ? Except 'Pregnancy' which is the only one where Men have anything to do with it at all.
And what's with the similarity between the words 'menstruation' and 'mensuration' anyway?
Two wholly different things altogether..
Well, dictionary.com says that 'menstrual' is Latin for 'monthly'. WhatEVA!

Wonder why people say that. 'whatever' means 'anything that'. But Dictionary.com also adds this meaning to it - used to indicate indifference to a state of affairs, situation, previous statement, etc.

Now you're probably thinking I should stop with going on about words.

Diwali Showers!

The rains have arrived!!! And as always just in time for Deepawali!!!

This year has been one hot sweltering bunch of months. After last year's long bout of heavy and incessant showers, it was not a surprise that 'kathiri - masam' this year was hotter than most years. That's how Chennai rolls – from one extreme to the other.

The rains of 2005 were the highest in the last decade; while the years before that - 2003 and 2004, were very very dry.
With power cuts due to water logging, flooded roads and houses, suspended trains, the angry monsoon took the lives of over ten thousand people. Even though Chennai is mostly a hot, dry city, the rains are welcomed with open arms and dirty feet by most people.

If only nature would have better timing! Every year, Diwali time is 'fire-cracker time', 'sweets time', 'new clothes time' and in Chennai, sadly, 'rain time'.

'Rain time' doesn't always negate crackers and fireworks. Invariably and incredibly the rain always stops exactly on Diwali letting everyone have their fun bursting crackers, lighting deepams or buying new clothes, as the case might be. (My personal preference, though, is eating the heavenly homemade sweets!)

And after all the noises of the Festival of Lights go quiet, the rains come down again, with a vengeance, as if to wipe the city clean of all the litter and smoke.

Although many righteous people might claim that bursting fire-crackers is to ignore a lot of issues like Child Abuse, Noise Pollution, Air Pollution, etc... Even they will have to admit, that with this year's rate of occurrence of Chicunguniya in the city, one good thing about the fireworks is that we will happily bid goodbye to Chennai's own pet creatures – the mosquitoes, at least for some time. All this, of course, is at the mercy of the whims of nature and the abetment of the heavy rains.

Now, before my computer shuts down – it's showing all signs of doing so at the rapid fluctuation in voltage corresponding to the intensity of the deluge outside, I better post this. As I am saved (again by the lovely showers, which receive no thanks from my mother) from taking the trouble to put laundry out for drying, I will curl up in bed, listening to Radio Mirchi while reading a book. What about college, you ask? Well, it's been cancelled due to the heavy rains!!!

Cross-posted at Chennaiist

another one

I've decided to start a new blog.

Sometimes pictures do speak louder than words...

Ha ha ha !

Its such a relief.
Its gone.
I'm back on familiar ground.
I finally did it.
Cut my hair so short I cant even tie it up!
Bangalore may have bad roads, be too cold for my linking and may make me sneeze too many times. But it still brought me back to my senses.
all my life except for the last three -four years, I've had short hair..
and now.. I am a liberated woman again!
How glad I am that I dont look bald anymore!

Getting a haircut is so different from any other renewal experience like a new wardrobe or makeover or anything.. just the act of cutting one's hair makes one feel fresher, rejuvenated and ready to face life again..
So what if my dad disapproves? So what if its too unmanageable for hot, sweaty Chennai? At least I dont look like I am 25 when I'm only 19!!!

Yeah!!! I am so soo happy, nowadays, I darent think about it (or blog) too much, for fear of my new found contentment going up in a puff of smoke...

Love my hair! Love my life!
But I still dont love exams which pull me back down to earth with a harsh jolt.
Just three more days till 'free-bird' time! almost...
But complete freedom comes only in six months.. when I'll be done with this degree.. done with this college.. and done with everything thats grown so tiresome in these three looooong years!
So close yet so far!

Finally!

What do I have to do if I dont want someone linking to my blog?
Is there some way to remove it other than changing my url or directly asking them?

These few days have been hell...
Thankfully I am going on a holiday.
A well deserved break at last! Even if it is only for 2 days.. I will be far away from college, home and other things I'd rather not think about..

A few other things..
The G Talk status wars have declined. thankfully! it was getting a bit too much.

Some things have happened that make me feel like quitting blogging altogether. Whats the point really? but I have no heart to delete this blog. And if I dont delete it, I might as well write. Its going to be a year. And that scares me more than you know.

A few people I didnt credit with a lot of creativity have surpassed all expectations. Suffice to say that stories involving balconies and pipe climbing have impressed me so much that other tales of transfers and eating binges fall short.

Caught up with a friend after a long time. Missed her a bit more than I thought I did. She managed to shock me too. And tempt me. And scare me. Smoking is very fascinating to watch.

Quite cheerful, I am these days... I am proud of myself for not cracking under pressure and god knows there has been enough and more of that...

Well.. Bangalore awaits!

a big tip...

The spoon stopped mid-air. Just before the dripping wet ice cream reached her lips.
"What ?"
He looked away, embarrassed. Whether for her or himself, he didn’t know.

“What did you say?”

“I asked if you are a virgin.”

The spoon went back into the bowl.

Hands whipped up the napkin as she leaned back into her seat and smiled sadly.

“And I thought you were different.”

“What’s so wrong about asking you if you are one?”

“Why is it so important to you?”

“Well.. Erm.. ” He didn’t know what to say. It wasn’t going as well as he thought it would. Quite the opposite actually.

“I don’t get you chauvinists. All of you are the same. Irrespective of who the guy is, it always comes back to that single question. ‘Am I a virgin or not!?!’ Well. What if I am not? Will you tell mama and papa to stop the wedding? Will you change your mind because I have had sex before? Hell! You probably have had ten times more sex than me!”

“Actually I haven’t.”

“What?”

“I said ‘I haven’t.’” He sighed. It seemed like his future bride was going to be deaf during important conversations. It was going to be tiresome having to repeat everything he said.

“I haven’t had sex before. I am a virgin. That’s why I asked you.”

“Oh… I see… Well, I haven’t either.” She looked down. This time he was embarrassed for her. “I... I am sorry. I shouldn’t have yelled at you.” She looked into his face, earnestly.

“Oh well. It’s okay. A lot of men are assholes. I am one too. Just not about virginity.”

Paying the bill as he stood up, he motioned for her to get up. As they walked away from the table, the waiter stared at the unfinished bowl of strawberry ice cream and the exorbitant tip. He looked up to see the last of his most generous customers of the day and silently thank him. The man looked back and winked at the waiter while guiding the girl towards the exit. Two fingers on his left hand were crossed...

Onam!

Guess what I did yesterday?
We celebrated Onam!!!
I know its too early .. there are two more days left.. but its the weekend and so much more convenient.

The great thing about Onam is that its secular. Its for ALL malayalees and not just for hindus or christians or muslims.. EVERYONE celebrates onam.. And there's such lovely fooood!!!

One of the first things that come to my mind when I think about Onam is the 'sadhya'!! thats the huge elaborate meal.. on banana leaf.. We dont have many 'leaf' meals at home. Except at weddings..And Onam and sometimes Vishu (in spite of us not being hindus we celebrate it, once in a while).
This year, we also decided to put a 'pookalam' which would be a kind of flower carpet or a flower 'kolam'. For a pookalam, there needs to be 'poo's! So I was sent out to buy some flowers. And I went grumbling, because of all e`rrands and chores, I hate 'buying stuff' the most.
Since we live in Besant Nagar and since for the past week or so, Besant Nagar and Elliot's Beach has been invaded by hordes of religious devotees of the Vellankani church, i grumbled even more.
But because of the loads of shops lining the roads, spotting a flower shop shouldnt be that difficult, I thought. It turned out that most people buy flowers only right next to the church, so I had to walk my way through the huge temporary shopping arcade to the other end. I was, unwisely, wearing jeans and t-shirt, so I hope I didnt scandalise too many aunties.. I did, however, hugely enjoy looking at all the shops on either side and admiring how prices fall at festival times.. and half wished that fab-india, which was also on the same road had also joined in and slashed their rates as well in the spirit of festivity!!!

When I finally reached the shop, the lady who was staring down at me (they erect platforms that come upto shoulder height for those shops adjoining the church - i dont know why!- the result is very disconcerting). The Lady who was staring down at me, pretty much figured out that I wasnt here to go to church, I thought, because nothing else could explain her frightful glaring. When I asked for some flowers (uthiri poo - loose flowers), she asked me what flowers. I did study Botany in school, but I really didnt know the names of the flowers, except for rose and 'mulla'(jasmine) in tamil! She was very irritated at my hesitation, so I pointed to some garlands hanging nearby and said that I wanted some loose flowers which were yellow and looked like this. She, was now very annoyed, because there was a huge line of other people behind me (who were also glaring at me), who I think she prioritised over me, because they were genuine. After I guiltily let one couple in front of me, I saw her smile at them and decided that I would not give way anymore. Finally I got her to understand what I wanted and she gave me 2 huge packetfuls of flowers (the colors all mixed up!) and I made my way back home.
Excited to start the 'pookalam' I forgot to crib about my harried experience and me and my lil sister started work. As much as I really do hate 'buying stuff', I love 'doing stuff' just as much. It was fun and I love the result.. We did two pookalams and the green leaves are from a nearby tree. Here they are.

After that I had bath and changed into my onam salwar (;) - yes I do have an 'onam' salwar) and sat down hungry for the 'sadhya' which, by the way, was the most amazing ever! Vegetarian food never tasted that good!

Update... Or 'Down'date?

Its been a weird week. Two fights.. A lot of shocking/surprising news.. and so many other things..

So there's this guy. The only guy I used to talk to school (in chennai - XI & XII). And we lost touch like ages ago..
Suddenly he's on Orkut.. and from his communities... I discover he's a drummer!
What the hell was I doing in school? How come I didnt know he was a drummer???

All of a sudden I am finding old and new friends.. College is ending.. I have things to do.. I have assignments to complete..

And I need to apply to universities..
And I dont have a passport..

*sigh..
Its falling apart.. I hope I survive...

Bloody movie!

I dont know why I went to watch the movie. I did want to go. But I knew I would cry. And I am not one of those people who get a high out of crying.

But the point is... I did go. I did cry.

Kabhi Alvida Na Kehna is a horrible movie.
Horrible in that it was so real that it was scary.

What will I do if i get married and find love out of it?
I think I would do just what SRK and Rani did in the movie.

And that's scary. For a lot of reasons.

Ouch!

What a crash! What a disappointment!
What a waste of time, energy and that scarce resource called hope!

Having friends never did suit me.

*If you're wondering about the cryptic post(s).. well.. Lets just say that this blog is far too public to say more... Sorry, my dear readers..
As for my friends who read this blog-you will not get any sort of answer from me. My mouth is shut.. and tightly this time.. *

Why doesnt Russia like me?

Mmm... Petrichor...

When I did this tag, I didnt expect all those I tagged to actually write. I was right. They didnt. But a great many did. Then they tagged other people and as tags go, it now has a life of its own. Questions are modified, answers are sarcastic, but its essentially the same 50 tiresome questions.
I've come across a lot of people who actually sat and wrote down answers for them all.

Question 48. Favorite Smell?

The answers are 8 times out of 10, 'smell of the ground after rain', 'fresh smell of rain', 'wet earth', etc...

Since I was the first one to write this tag and I put in that answer, I dont really know if its a domino effect or just a very popular smell.
What I do know is that there is a community for those people who love this smell on that monster of friends networks, orkut.

According to wikipedia, 'Petrichor' is one of the most frequently cited favorite smells (guess I wasnt responsible for the domino effect after all, eh?) and is essential the scent given off by a yellow organic oil in the earth which is released into the air during rain. It is composed of more than 50 distinct chemical substances and is strongest in the desert after a long awaited shower.
Petrichor is also a UK site dedicated to graphics and photography.

But enough of facts, a lot of sites, and people, talk of it as a perfume and a fragrance but as far as I can find out, no one has actually tried to put it into a bottle and sell it. All the more the pity. Considering it is a chemical substance, it can be made into a wearable perfume and being everybody's favorite smell would probably be a hot item in the market.

Anyway, what I want to know is, why is it so popular? What makes it likeable? Is it the feeling of familiarity? Or nostalgia. Almost everyone I know has at least one fond memory of rain. It also gives one a feeling of good things to come. which is probably true, because in most places and particularly in a rain and water starved city like Chennai, rain is a good omen and brings with it pleasant weather - relief from the scorching sun.

In spite of its fancy name, its one of the most basic elements of life. The kiss of rain on the dry parched earth. Is there anything more basic than water and dust? Is there anyone at all who doesnt like petrichor?

sigh...

A chance remark from a friend, an enemy and a stranger.
All of them said the same thing.
I have a complex.
Having ugly parents is better than having beautiful ones.
especially when u know u can never measure up.

*sigh
more later...

Mmmmm... Chocolate!

3.50 am
What in the world am I doing up and blogging at 3.50 am??? I don’t know, myself. I woke up at 2 and haven’t been able to go back to sleep... What do I blog about? I don’t really know.
Most people have commented on my previous 'depressing' post about how I should be positive, and cheer up, and all that... Thank you, all. I never get to R. I am always stuck on 'Chee'.
That’s how I feel about myself and my life right now. So forgive me if my posts get a little depressing. It’s sometimes the most difficult thing to live with yourself. And having a blog is a catharsis and makes it less difficult to live with myself.
Anyway, what does one do when one is depressed?
Watching sitcoms and cheesy chick flicks, always gives you the impression that high cal ice cream is the best medicine for an emotional breakdown.

Oh! How wrong they are... Chocolate! Yummy, creamy chocolate! Its heaven. Not only is it heaven, it also doesn’t leave you feeling bad for having eaten too much.
My first chocolate – I really don’t remember what it was. But it must have been something really really good. In fact, every time, I eat chocolate and especially if I am low, I always feel like I am Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. ‘Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good …’
My favourite kind of chocolate varies from mood to mood. If I am doing something (like an assignment, watching TV or reading a book,) then I like to have biscuity wafer-ed chocolate. Like KitKat (which is my faaaaavourite), or Perk or Munch. Crackle is for those times that I am hungry and want to muse over the scrunchy nitty-gritties of life. Cadbury’s Dairy Milk is an energy booster, while Temptations is for an occasion.
Of course, chocs from abroad, loving bestowed by cousins, uncles, aunts and friends with loving cousins, aunts and uncles, come into a whole different category, of which my favourites are Hershey’s almond bars, and Hershey’s kisses. As for Snickers and Mars – They are nice, but I don’t see what all the hype is about!
But I somehow like Desi chocolate just as much as foreign chocolate if not more.
Coming to types of chocolate, Milk chocolate is first. Bitter/dark chocolate comes next (cooking chocolate is usually the bitterest of them all, and once you get started on that, you’re hooked for life.) but not everyone likes bitter chocolate. White chocolate... I don’t know if it is chocolate if it is white! It’s not great, but I’d eat it anyways. One kind of chocolate I cannot bring myself to enjoy - Chocolate with coconut. I know everyone thinks its great and heavenly an all that. But I cant stand it.
But, with all the brands, types and preferences, there is one brand/type of chocolate I would like to worship. That is FERRO ROCHE. It is the greatest, most unbelievably addictive form of chocolate.

Damn! With all this talk of chocolate it’s extremely frustrating that it’s so early in the morning, and there is no stock of chocolate in my fridge.
All I could find was, one tiny Hershey’s Kiss.
So with that in my mouth, I will publish this post and say good night. I will try to wake up by 7. College is at 8, today…

There are somethings you can tell some people, there are somethings you can tell everyone. But there are somethings you shouldn't tell anyone. (Like the time you peed in your pants in seventh grade, or the time that you had a crush on your 'old' teacher, or the time that you accidently told your friend something your 'other' friend told you not to tell her.)

Knowing how to make out the difference between these 'somethings' is what is the most important to do to have a successful relationshipwith anyone/everyone. (Of course this is only if you 'want' to have successful relationships. You could just be in an anti-social phase like some people)
So that you don't hurt them or more importantly, yourself.

Sometimes, somethings that you knew were inevitable, surprise and shock you no end. (Like the fact that a friend used you, that people actually do gossip about you as well, that you got low grades in a really bad exam.)

Sometimes, the truth about yourself hits you so hard you can barely breathe.
Sometimes, you realise your mistakes are un-correctable.
Sometimes, you realise you don't care about or trust people you thought you cared about and trusted.
Sometimes, you learn things the hard way.

Its going to be a long year...

THANK GOD!!!

A lot of the time I assume that when something bad happens to me, its cos god hates me or the world is against me or something like that.
Of late, however, I have come to realise that there are very good reasons somethings happen to you.
Like a break-up or an almost date that you wish had happened or an exam you failed or somebody you forgot or that lousy hair-cut.

For the past few weeks, a lot of the things that I cried about when they happened have turned out to be good things.
Take for example: When my hostel had to be painted, I had to lug all my stuff back home. I kept cribbing about it at that time. But now, I dont need to go backto hostel, its ok.
So next time I wont crib.

Have you felt intensely happy that things turned out the way they did, although you moaned and groaned about it before you knew all the facts? and saw all the pictures, so to speak?

Thats the way I feel now. Intensely happy and elevated.

Have you ever felt the pressure of no pressure?
Like having nothing to do gets on your nerves?

Something you didnt know before...

Some really innovative bullshit interesting information I came across.
Do you know the expansion of DOWRY ? Daughter-in-Law's Own Wealth Released to You! By the same logic, the full form of SOWRY is Son-in-law's.... And did you know apparently SOWRY is the silliest most swept-under-the-carpet 'Western disease' in India? That this is the main reason why the suicide rate of men increases by more than fifty percent after marriage whereas women's suicide rate is the same? (Of course, the fact that women suffer emotional upheaval and abuse even before their marriage has nothing to do with it.) Among the imaginary most horrifying strands of western disease that are spreading throughout th country, some of the most important are DOWRY,(which came from Greece), SOWRY HARASSMENT(which hardly any of us know of), FEMINIST ACTIVISM(The venom is really potent. It has made most girls in our country think in a way against our culture), GENDER SENSITIVITY(really?!?! Where did that come from? Why do we have to be sensitive to women, anyway?), CANNIBALISM(Damn Europeans!!!), ABUSE OF ELDERS BY THEIR DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS(All these bahu-witches!!!)
India is a country of old and glorious beliefs. And how can we let the WESTERN CANNIBALS change the way we live ?
Quoting from an article on this enlightening site...
'These western activists must be opposed as soon as they reach Indian airports. They should first culturally improve themselves before they preach others. Slavery, cannibalism, dowry (read article greek dowry), feminism, reductionism, judgementalism, patriarchy all are western diseases. We need immunity from all these diseases and the time is running out....'

Please if you have a lot of time on your hands and you really want a good laugh an informative 15mins... Do read the entertaining articles on this site.
Link courtesy: Megha.

SAVE INDIAN FAMILIES!!! Cos in spite of being the SECOND MOST POPULOUS country in the world... WE ARE GOING EXTINCT!!!

P.S.- What sort of a person puts up a nude picture of a pregnant woman and then several pictures of mothers breastfeeding their babies as a dedication to all the 'sweet mothers' in the world?
And father's day is coming around the corner... Wondering about that!!!

Bleh.

Somebody wrote about revenge and its uselesness on his blog.
Do you think revenge is not fulfilling?
I wouldn't know. Because I have never taken revenge on anybody. But because I dont know, I feel it must feel better than sitting and doing nothing.

I think I am going to take a break from blogging. Not for lack of things to write. Just dont feel encouraged by my readers. Yes! You!

Oh. Who am I kidding?! I have no readers. Just those few friends who I force to comment.
Bleh.

Who writes a post on Valentine's Day and yet mentions nothing about it?
Who says 'Oh Lord Jagannath' in the middle of a blogpost?
Whose boyfriend has a whole blog dedicted to the love of his life?
Who claims her hometown is Ker'E'la?

Answers: classmate, classmate, classmate and classmate.