Mmmmm... Chocolate!

3.50 am
What in the world am I doing up and blogging at 3.50 am??? I don’t know, myself. I woke up at 2 and haven’t been able to go back to sleep... What do I blog about? I don’t really know.
Most people have commented on my previous 'depressing' post about how I should be positive, and cheer up, and all that... Thank you, all. I never get to R. I am always stuck on 'Chee'.
That’s how I feel about myself and my life right now. So forgive me if my posts get a little depressing. It’s sometimes the most difficult thing to live with yourself. And having a blog is a catharsis and makes it less difficult to live with myself.
Anyway, what does one do when one is depressed?
Watching sitcoms and cheesy chick flicks, always gives you the impression that high cal ice cream is the best medicine for an emotional breakdown.

Oh! How wrong they are... Chocolate! Yummy, creamy chocolate! Its heaven. Not only is it heaven, it also doesn’t leave you feeling bad for having eaten too much.
My first chocolate – I really don’t remember what it was. But it must have been something really really good. In fact, every time, I eat chocolate and especially if I am low, I always feel like I am Julie Andrews in the Sound of Music. ‘Somewhere in my youth or childhood, I must have done something good …’
My favourite kind of chocolate varies from mood to mood. If I am doing something (like an assignment, watching TV or reading a book,) then I like to have biscuity wafer-ed chocolate. Like KitKat (which is my faaaaavourite), or Perk or Munch. Crackle is for those times that I am hungry and want to muse over the scrunchy nitty-gritties of life. Cadbury’s Dairy Milk is an energy booster, while Temptations is for an occasion.
Of course, chocs from abroad, loving bestowed by cousins, uncles, aunts and friends with loving cousins, aunts and uncles, come into a whole different category, of which my favourites are Hershey’s almond bars, and Hershey’s kisses. As for Snickers and Mars – They are nice, but I don’t see what all the hype is about!
But I somehow like Desi chocolate just as much as foreign chocolate if not more.
Coming to types of chocolate, Milk chocolate is first. Bitter/dark chocolate comes next (cooking chocolate is usually the bitterest of them all, and once you get started on that, you’re hooked for life.) but not everyone likes bitter chocolate. White chocolate... I don’t know if it is chocolate if it is white! It’s not great, but I’d eat it anyways. One kind of chocolate I cannot bring myself to enjoy - Chocolate with coconut. I know everyone thinks its great and heavenly an all that. But I cant stand it.
But, with all the brands, types and preferences, there is one brand/type of chocolate I would like to worship. That is FERRO ROCHE. It is the greatest, most unbelievably addictive form of chocolate.

Damn! With all this talk of chocolate it’s extremely frustrating that it’s so early in the morning, and there is no stock of chocolate in my fridge.
All I could find was, one tiny Hershey’s Kiss.
So with that in my mouth, I will publish this post and say good night. I will try to wake up by 7. College is at 8, today…

There are somethings you can tell some people, there are somethings you can tell everyone. But there are somethings you shouldn't tell anyone. (Like the time you peed in your pants in seventh grade, or the time that you had a crush on your 'old' teacher, or the time that you accidently told your friend something your 'other' friend told you not to tell her.)

Knowing how to make out the difference between these 'somethings' is what is the most important to do to have a successful relationshipwith anyone/everyone. (Of course this is only if you 'want' to have successful relationships. You could just be in an anti-social phase like some people)
So that you don't hurt them or more importantly, yourself.

Sometimes, somethings that you knew were inevitable, surprise and shock you no end. (Like the fact that a friend used you, that people actually do gossip about you as well, that you got low grades in a really bad exam.)

Sometimes, the truth about yourself hits you so hard you can barely breathe.
Sometimes, you realise your mistakes are un-correctable.
Sometimes, you realise you don't care about or trust people you thought you cared about and trusted.
Sometimes, you learn things the hard way.

Its going to be a long year...

THANK GOD!!!

A lot of the time I assume that when something bad happens to me, its cos god hates me or the world is against me or something like that.
Of late, however, I have come to realise that there are very good reasons somethings happen to you.
Like a break-up or an almost date that you wish had happened or an exam you failed or somebody you forgot or that lousy hair-cut.

For the past few weeks, a lot of the things that I cried about when they happened have turned out to be good things.
Take for example: When my hostel had to be painted, I had to lug all my stuff back home. I kept cribbing about it at that time. But now, I dont need to go backto hostel, its ok.
So next time I wont crib.

Have you felt intensely happy that things turned out the way they did, although you moaned and groaned about it before you knew all the facts? and saw all the pictures, so to speak?

Thats the way I feel now. Intensely happy and elevated.

Have you ever felt the pressure of no pressure?
Like having nothing to do gets on your nerves?

Something you didnt know before...

Some really innovative bullshit interesting information I came across.
Do you know the expansion of DOWRY ? Daughter-in-Law's Own Wealth Released to You! By the same logic, the full form of SOWRY is Son-in-law's.... And did you know apparently SOWRY is the silliest most swept-under-the-carpet 'Western disease' in India? That this is the main reason why the suicide rate of men increases by more than fifty percent after marriage whereas women's suicide rate is the same? (Of course, the fact that women suffer emotional upheaval and abuse even before their marriage has nothing to do with it.) Among the imaginary most horrifying strands of western disease that are spreading throughout th country, some of the most important are DOWRY,(which came from Greece), SOWRY HARASSMENT(which hardly any of us know of), FEMINIST ACTIVISM(The venom is really potent. It has made most girls in our country think in a way against our culture), GENDER SENSITIVITY(really?!?! Where did that come from? Why do we have to be sensitive to women, anyway?), CANNIBALISM(Damn Europeans!!!), ABUSE OF ELDERS BY THEIR DAUGHTER-IN-LAWS(All these bahu-witches!!!)
India is a country of old and glorious beliefs. And how can we let the WESTERN CANNIBALS change the way we live ?
Quoting from an article on this enlightening site...
'These western activists must be opposed as soon as they reach Indian airports. They should first culturally improve themselves before they preach others. Slavery, cannibalism, dowry (read article greek dowry), feminism, reductionism, judgementalism, patriarchy all are western diseases. We need immunity from all these diseases and the time is running out....'

Please if you have a lot of time on your hands and you really want a good laugh an informative 15mins... Do read the entertaining articles on this site.
Link courtesy: Megha.

SAVE INDIAN FAMILIES!!! Cos in spite of being the SECOND MOST POPULOUS country in the world... WE ARE GOING EXTINCT!!!

P.S.- What sort of a person puts up a nude picture of a pregnant woman and then several pictures of mothers breastfeeding their babies as a dedication to all the 'sweet mothers' in the world?
And father's day is coming around the corner... Wondering about that!!!

Bleh.

Somebody wrote about revenge and its uselesness on his blog.
Do you think revenge is not fulfilling?
I wouldn't know. Because I have never taken revenge on anybody. But because I dont know, I feel it must feel better than sitting and doing nothing.

I think I am going to take a break from blogging. Not for lack of things to write. Just dont feel encouraged by my readers. Yes! You!

Oh. Who am I kidding?! I have no readers. Just those few friends who I force to comment.
Bleh.

Who writes a post on Valentine's Day and yet mentions nothing about it?
Who says 'Oh Lord Jagannath' in the middle of a blogpost?
Whose boyfriend has a whole blog dedicted to the love of his life?
Who claims her hometown is Ker'E'la?

Answers: classmate, classmate, classmate and classmate.

Just a Rant

Sometimes I feel like banging my head against the wall. Talking to some people is like talking through a one way door. Only the things they tell you seem to come across. And when you try to tell them something it bounces back. Except when you speak their way (read as walking backwards. Like moon walking or something!).
I hate when people think what they do and what they say is right. They are so stuck in their own shit that they just cannot put themselves into other people’s shoes. And even if they do, they bring their foul excreta with them. They are just sick sick sick!
I also hate interfering in other people’s messes. It gets really stinky most of the time.(Forgive me for the malodorous metaphor.)

PS- To all those lesser mortals who don’t know this fact, I have put it up in bold red.

WHEN TWO PEOPLE BREAK UP, SO DO THEIR FRIENDS AND FAMILY. AND THERE IS ALMOST NO EXCEPTION UNLESS THEY WERE ALREADY FRIENDS OR FAMILY EVEN BEFORE THE TWO PEOPLE GOT TOGETHER.

I know this is entirely unrelated. But of late I have come across no less than three failed relationships in which the one or both of the two souls or their friends and family trespassed this golden rule. (And one relationship in which even formerly friendly families became less friendly and more than just a lil cold to each other.) The result has always been a sticky situation including delicate conversations, hurt feelings and lots of melodrama.

I have stayed away from interfering in anything for two whole years. And now I find my fate almost inescapable.
*walks slowly away with head down, thinking…*
To meddle or not to meddle…

Last night

Stasis.
A condition of balance among various forces; motionlessness.

Last night I realised I identified with this word more than ever before in my life.
Is stasis a balance or a lack of force? You could argue that the balance is achieved with the help of two or more equal and opposite forces.
The dictionary also gives another definition. ‘Stoppage of the normal flow of a liquid substance'
This is more like how I feel. Like everything has just stopped happening. Not like my life has come to an end. But more like I am waiting for something to happen. Not a full stop. More like a comma. A pause. In balance. In stasis.

You would think that this is the last thing I should be thinking of, being in third year of college, 18yrs old.... The funniest part is that in some ways I am happy. At least I have my peace of mind. But then it always comes back to the very same question. Do I like being at peace?

Last night, there were three words running through my head as I was lying down trying desperately to get some sleep. Always in the same order. Always in the same tone. ‘He, I, we… He, I, we…’ Almost like a chant. Or a lullaby. Take it any way you want to. And I wonder now, why the order never changed. Why was ‘I’ never first ? Why was it always ‘he’? (To those who are wondering who this 'he' is, I wish I knew. I feel like I will never know. If I did know, I doubt very much that it would be 'he' running through my mind. Wouldnt it be 'his' name?)

There are four types of women. Women who always put themselves first – the MMers. Women who always put others first – the YYers. Women who put themselves first but maybe not always – the MYers. And the women who put themselves lastbut not always – the YMers.

Most people (both men and women) consider the MMers to be the selfish bitchy women. And the YYers to be females with zero self respect. I don’t know if I agree with this perception. But what I do know is I that I always thought myself to be one of the MYers. But of late I have realised I am more likely an YMer possibly even one of the YYers.. And I don’t know if that is a good thing. I also don’t know if all this logic makes any sense to anyone other than me.

Last night I realised there are many times when I am glad I joined this college and made the greatest set of friends ever. I am glad for that. I am glad for the particular friend who made me realise that. Not withstanding her repeated attempts to persuade me to agree to let her instigate an event of rowdyism and which would result in a pair of broken legs, she really made me feel better. And that got me thinking. If I hadn’t joined this mediocre college, I would never have met all these people.

Last night was a night of many thoughts. You would think with all this thinking I would be too busy for anything else. You would be wrong. I finished a book (Eleven Minutes-Paulo Coelho), one that I really don’t know whether to classify as a good one or a bad one. One thing is certain. I certainly identified with the protagonist.

from the book:
' Considering the way the world is, one happy day is a miracle'
'The art of sex is the art of controlled abandon'
And last of all, my favourite(!!!):
'The true experience of freedom (the author was talking of love):having the most important thing in the world without owning it'

How was your night?

Four eyes and two smiles

Looking at my nails. Thinking too much to look up. Suddenly I feel them. Those eyes. That formidable feeling of fate. Of destiny waiting to happen. Butterflies. Scarcely brave enough to look up. I see nothing. No fearful sight. No haunting scene. Just normal everyday traffic. But I know. Those eyes. They are here. Looking at me. At my face. Into my soul. A sudden movement. A reflection of a jerk. A darted look. A mirrored glance. Its him! That familiar face. That known silhouette. Those very same deep deep eyes. Can it be? I blink and look again. Maybe. Maybe not. A chance sighting in the rear view mirror. A honking bike. A ray of sunlight. Identical looks of surprise. Pleasant faces. A smile or two.
3..2..1.. Green. I blink again. The traffic surges ahead. We're lost again. Hope is subdued, the heart falls, practicality reigns. Life moves on. The blink of a chance.

Back!

SO?
GUESS WHAT?
Its RAINING!!!
RAINING!!!

NO... I am not in Kerala... In which case it really wouldn’t be a big 'surprise'...
Its JUNE... and its CHENNAI...
And its RAINING!!!

la la la la la la(ok... credits for This Happy Song go to Divs)

Well... I am back. And I thought I would be happy and jolly after the almost-one month break…Turns out I am not… I am just as crabby and cry-baby-ish as ever.After bawling like a baby, I think I feel more cheerful.

I missed Chennai. I missed my friends. I missed my family (ahem ahem. Yes. Turns out I actually did!!!) And here it comes... I also, surprisingly, actually missed my college…

But most of all, I missed blogging.
Really horribly tearfully missed it. Well… I missed broadband more than actual blogging. But! Same difference, aint it?
Dial up is really terrible.

Hmmm…
Thought of writing posts all the time.

On the road. In the middle of traffic. While walking head down and trying to ignore all the lecherous looks that come as a result of walking dupatta-less on the road. While watching some cheesy snivelly ole romantic movie after months of being HBO+StarMovies deprived. Feeling lonely on a stormy night. Watching my dad open his very active mail account with over 8342 new(unopened)mails dating from over 5yrs ago while opening my mail account and seeing no new mails or ‘Inbox(0)’. Trying on a t-shirt and realising that I HAVE really bloated! Unpacking my suitcase and realising I would have to unpack lots more when I shift back to hostel. Realising I don’t WANT to shift back.
*sigh….*
Do all you fellow bloggers out there, do all this? Or am I more addicted to blogging than I thought? Or am I just more naturally creative?

*Among the other things I found out(and revised) about Kerala. Good looks and height are inversely propertional. Particularly amongst the XY half of the population*