Feeling Cold

You know how when you're on the verge of liking something or someone, something happens to put you off? When you look back and think - "Dang it! That could have been someone who I need around me now and what did I do? Pushed them away!" ?
No? Never felt that way?
Well, I almost did. You have no idea how close a call it was. But sometimes, when you're on the verge of being put off by something or someone... something happens.
Except now.. I wonder if the other person is looking back and thinking "Dang it!... "
Sometimes, its easy to fall into a crush. Or back into love. Or melt into comfortable, familiar depression. Especially when you're as terrified of change as me.
I'm scared. Something big seems to be looming ahead.
All this restfulness, the lethargy of yesterday seems to have been the calm before the storm.

When did every moment become such a burden and living through the day become such utter torture?