My class. All girls. Studying journalism with current affairs-social issues-human rights-etc…It was quite inevitable that at some point of time, we would start talking about sexual harassment aka 'eve teasing'. We did. In the first week of our first semester.
Say No to sexual harassment. Voice your experiences of sexual harassment - as a victim, perpetrator or bystander - at work, at home or in the public sphere. Participate in the Blank Noise Blog-a-thon, on March 7th.
Loads of examples. All of which sicken you to the core. Leave you feeling disgusted, dirty and defiled. All about how horrible, sexually frustrated, revolting, men take advantage of women in crowded buses, lonely compartments and desolate roads.
Latest personal experience:
Feb 28th – on the way back home. Bus no. - 29c.
Involves horrible man, with sick ‘thopa’ trying to thrust himself in my back. The jerk of the moving bus working to his advantage. In spite of moving away, he followed me, in spite of telling him to move away, he kept standing there. Thrusting. Till I turned and stood sideways with my college bag in between me and him. And then he moved on to the girl next to me. Another victim. Another chance.
I went home and had a bath.
The first time I experienced this normal part of life in Chennai- I didn’t even know such things happened. It was a huge shock to me. I refused to ever go out of the house again. When I told Mummy, she said – ‘Ya. So what? Such things happen. You have to get used to it’. I eventually did.
And people ask me why I prefer autos and don’t like buses.
What about one's own family?People who are supposed to protect the girl from this?
It is the most despicable act. To violate a women or a girl. It is even more despicable to do that to a small child who has no knowledge of what is happening. And when you are someone she's supposed to trust and love. She’ll probably think it’s a game.
Uncles, Cousins, grand-uncles, brothers and even fathers. And then there is the hazy ‘distant relative’.
A long time ago, I read an “agony aunt” query from a 19 yr old boy who by mistake saw his 21yr old sister change her clothes when he was hiding in her room. He was enthralled by the sight of her breasts. He couldn’t take his eyes of her. He used to hide in her room after that everyday, to see her change… to catch a glimpse. He was addicted, he said. He didn’t know what to do.
Calls himself a brother. F***ing Pervert. Should probably hang himself.
A’s father. The man on the train.
Fact or fiction?
Who knows…
Coming back to my class... we talk about it a lot...
and every time, we come up at the same point - the punishment... for rape, eve teasing, sexual harassment....and every time, we come up at the same apt, but unreasonable punishment... Castration... its impractical and impossible... but it is what these men deserve...
Eve-teasing. A word that makes light of the whole situation. Is all of this teasing???
Very very few...
Ps- i have been bloghopping like crazy... and i came across an interesting article.. a lot of blogs are discussing this topic. but what hit me the most is that a lot of the men are feeling guilty even when they haven't done anything. as a result i decided to remove the last line of this post. which also asked the question 'how many men can say they have never eve teased?' because i dont feel there is any point in people who are not part of the crime, feeling bad abt it. i dont intend to create any guilt complex in any man who reads this post. However. i strongly am against every person(man/women) who says that eve teasing is natural and should be expected. even among animals, females dont put up with 'teasing'. and sex is solely the decision of the female. then, as humans who rape, and assault and eve-tease, are we worse than animals?
and talking abt rape- 8-10% of all rape takes place against men. just for your info.
and abt animals, i'm not implying they are worse than human. just asking are we worse than them.
and phew! thats a long post script...

36 comments:
you have potrayed so well what we women think of as something 'to be tolerated' and a 'part of life' please send your article to the newspapers and magazines.. everyone is only too silent on such issues which scream for attention. YES! there should be only one punishment for rapists at least those who molest minors.. CASTRATION... nothing less.
i guess, instead of stopping, we sud figure, why such a situation occur in the first place ?
my 2 cents on this issue ..
Very few schools encourage to mingle with opp sex, sex education is NIL. People make babies out of a guy/gal talking to each other. Gals are not taught how to deal with such situation, talking abut these things can be a taboo, a situation which one has to be shameful about.
Education, Knowledge is the key i presume !! When so called teachers come out of their OLD SCHOOL mentality, i presume the later generation will benefit.
Well ..I cant say i never made fun of girls ..but it was in the light vein ..but there are no excuses for making a girls life less conducive . Be it a small teaser ..shouting ..singing ... and gravest being physical contact .
Well many people invovlved can be banished saying that they belong to the loweer sections of society ...rouges . But lot of educated men are in the loop to ..
Not the right solution ..but seggregation of boy - girls in all activities from school to colleges ..creates a friction between them ..which leads to a lot of misdemeanor...stricter laws are good ..but we know how the police once in chennai mishandled the law ..and harrased ..boys 4 which many girls can say ...its ur turn to be ..troubled...a serious issue ...well written
All men are the same, all are desperate and insensitive and loosers and i cant use stronger language here..
Excellent. You knwe, we pretend everything's fine with eveteasing. It's just few raunchy boys. But ever anon newspaper reports and now this blog post proves how low a man can get. Horrible. It makes one ashamed to be a man.
But we have t change the core mindset of these types of men and also women like the girl A. We have to start form schools and also from one's family.
Thanks for an enlightning post.
Anna,
This post stands as a testimonial for the pain which is caused to girls who have to go through this everyday at their Home (dads, brothers, cousins and uncles etc etc), society (buses, trains, markets, shopping areas), colleges and offices.
There are so many many examples of the beastly behaviour.
The lack of adequate interaction between girls and boys in Indian society can never be accepted as the reason for this behaviour. No reason can justify such animal behaviour.
The animal instincts displayed in these instances nullify the thousands of years of civilization of human kind.
Personally, this post has affected me a lot. Though it is easy to just say some reason or give a adhoc solution, I will refrain from doing it.
The first step in solving any problem is to acknowledge that it exists. When Indian society comes out of the denial state and openly starts talking about the problem plaguing the society, we have a good start.
And this post is a great example to show that women in India will no more suffer in silence. And it feels happy that it will include my mom, cousin sisters and nieces.
Hats off..
- Venkat
@freaky chakra
I do know a lot of guys who are gentlemen, but yet a generalization is not something i can avoid. the innocent ones do get labelled that way, but I cant help it. What is needed is a demonstration as to what can happen if some man rapes a girl. morality is another thing that has to be instilled.
@echos
thenk you! but i'm afraid this post is too subjective and personal to publish in a newspaper.. will think of writing something similar during my internship... and Castration- is far impractical no matter how much we want it.
@MM
i dont thinking sex education or encouraging inter-mingling of sexes will help. at all. here its the basic mindset that we are talking abt. the feeling tht women are there for the taking..
@shiv shankar
thanks... a friction b/n boys n gals is always there. whether there's seggregation or not... its the way our society is made..
@sus
i think you shouldn't be so bitter. you know and i know that all men are not losers... its another word you're meaning to use.. ;) but that isn't right either...
@freaky chakra
i am glad there are guys like you. however i find it a lil hard to believe you have never teased a woman! at least a lewd song? personally i don think there's anything wrong in songs or words. they are just that. not particularly nice. but ignor-able. but when it comes to becoming physical. that's where the line should be drawn.
@aragorn
hear hear!!! i think its the family that really changes the way you think. or the environment one is brought up in...
@Venkataprasad
Thank you for the shiny words... :-) but honestly? i don think this post will make much of a diff. neither will the blog-a-thon. prob bring together a few of the harassed women. and it is from there that some action can be taken...
and to everyone... there'll be a small postscript i'm putting in..
@freaky chakra
oh! forgot to say...
feb 28th was one day when i thought having dividers on every bus would have been a great idea!!!
:-)
lol...
Anna,
yes, honestly.
Its upto u to believe or not.
- Venkat
Hey Anna, its great that you joined the initiative.
I seriously think castration is the best answer, but its too utopian to comprehend.....I still cannot digest what happened to my sis though....and did you notice? Whatever we have gone through.......its almost the same.
The patterns of the perpeturators are VERY similar.
We have to fight back though, feeling ashamed about our bodies is not going to help. We should conciously get over it.
Patriarchal society forces us to be that way.
Very depressing......
awesome post, gal!
I really liked the story... and i did NOT see the end coming... [but that doesnt really say much, cuz i'm not very bad at seeing endings in any case! [which is a good thing, cuz u can read/watch cheap suspense novels/movies and enjoy them!] !]
btw, i've come across this topic on so many female blogs in the past few days tht i was quite taken aback! i guess the whole "blogathon" thing really is taking effect... I've got quite a bit to say on the matter myself, and will write my own post on tht...
Last week a 3 year old girl (in Athlone) was beaten and raped. She is still alive.
The man responsible has been released on bail yesterday. He is walking the streets.
The Government is planning to close the child protection unit and this is a petition
against it!! This is a very important petition. It is an essential part of our justice system for children.
What is this world coming to?
Thanx for pointing me out to Blank Noise. :)
Came here via Arnold's blog.Great post! Incidently I read in the papers today that a Colombian man convicted of eve-teasing has been imprisoned for 4 years. Now Im not sure if this is true or not but its definitely a fitting punishment. Some people actually think that such a sentence is too harsh. Wonder if they'd chage their opinion if their daughters were at the recieving end....
Castration..?!
And ya, let me tell you. A 'gay' experience on a train or a bus is much much more embarrassing!
@Venkat...
Okay.. thank you!!!
@Megha
Yup. its always the same way. and we should fight back.
@arnold
thanks! and keep visiting.
@anjaan
no probs... thats what i was trying to do... keep visiting...
@callmepv
it is true.. but its not sad... its OUTRAGEOUS!
@switchblade
4years.. is not a fit punishment. CASTRATION is.. but its impractical...
@karthik
ya. CASTRATION!!! and i donno abt 'gay' experiences so am not in a position to say anything. guess it's just as embarrassing as eve-teasing
@freaky chakra
good. i'm thankful there are some decent guys like you...
what's so impractical about castration? I know we've discussed this a zillion times in class and we've always felt that it was the most fitting punishment to those lecherous men...
castration is the ONLY way those good-for-nothing morons will learn a lesson.
also, i think most guys, say 98% of them view women solely as objects of lust.the lack of respect for the opposite sex is probably the root cause for lewd remarks.
sadness.
@karthik,
I think I know what you mean man. Its horrible to be felt up by a gay man in a crowded bus/train. Gives you a small insight into the trauma that women go through.
@anna,
Its really brave of all the girls like you who come out and speak. If only you'd not hide behind your blogs and actually report any incident immediately to the cops and get the bastards arrested, the world would be a better place.
If we have enough people feeling strongly against this and willing to do something about it - things can change. We need brainstorm and come up with alternatives - separate buses for women maybe? Just trying to think - solutions.
wishes and prayers from dubai
hi:
i was reading up a couple of more posts on the same topic, and am the most disturbed at how rampant the whole thing is. and the most horrible comment is that the girl deserved it because she was wearing such and such clothes (how sad!)..
well, i think the decent guys also should be proactive in support to the girls. i have never seen a guy stand up and tell to the pervert that bastard! how dare you do it (not that i have done it, but i think from now on i will keep out a eye for such things!)....if every dad/brother/husband starts thinking what if tht girl was my daughter/sis/wife, and stand up to fight for the girl, it will be nice!
it is so truly disgusting.
Another thing is, the woman should be able to gather the support of those around her at least, to make a decent protest if she can't physically handle the situation herself don't ya think?
I don't see much point in what A did. Of course, she was devastated, yes. But what was the outcome of the story? we need happy stories!
and yeah, who you? Not being rude, saw you linked to me, so followed.
& Anna, U dropped by at my older blog. Thanx for the compliment! :)
Next time go here
Anna!! That was a fantastic post!! I guess when we write abt things like this that affect us terribly.. it brings out the best in us.. And seriously CASTRATION is the best solution.. unfortunately unfeasible!!:( That story about A,B,C,D really spooked me out!! Fact or Fiction? Could more easily be fact.. It's sick isn't it? That we need to accept it as a part and parcel of life? And the guys around us...they seem so shocked and disbelieving of what they hear..can't blame them..they don't 'see' it happening... but in a wierd and convoluted way.. their guilt is a good thing.. cause it builds an increasing awareness in them.. not jus' in spreading the msg.. but probably the next time they are gonna be travelling in a bus or walking down the road.. they will no more be blinkered.. but atleast at a subconcious level might be on the look-out to protect any girl they might see getting harassed!! kudos to opening up!!! :)
Why should castration be considered impractical for rape of babies? And Especially for those hedious monsters who call themselves MEN?? who maim three and four year olds for slaking their sick lust???? Any woman who has been molested will testify.. that the scars are long lasting.. and not so much physical but emotional... I Believe these ANIMALS who rape minors.. some being even babies who cannot even protest.. forget about defending themselves.. SHOULD BE Castrated... NOTHING LESS!
Well said. Castration is what they deserve. Kill a few of them. Hang them. Cut them off. Watch the rest of them fear. These people kill. They must die.
Hi anna, came across this post of yours through another friends. I had not checked your for a while. A very nice write up. Infact it reminded me how during my college days I had to handle these JERKS, dying to fall on you and pinch you and alll!! I was glad that I could just show my middle finger to these guys..and trash them in public..but not many in my class or department could do it. Am glad that now atleast people are encouraged to voice their discomfort. GOOD POST, I really liked it. will make a direct link of this on my blog.
Came here through Blank Noise Project.....great post....and its nice to know that you realise that not all men are alike...there are a whole lot of bastards out there...but there are some good ones too...
The problem is not having a place to go for justice...supposing a girl goes to the police station and complaints, her name would be all over the place and she would be stigmatised to no end...and about the complaint? It will gather dust somewhere...I guess the right signals will be sent across when action is taken at the right time...that will encourage women to come out and fight and discourage men from getting dirty.
@div- i don know abt 98% of men thinking of women as sex objects, but def 98% of men are thinking of women a lot of the time.. maybe thats the prob, here...
@Vincent-i know.. thank you.. and maybe even you shud write a post on it..
@farrukh-its not just buses. movie theatres... beaches.. lonely roads.. there is only one solution... to change they way people think..
@kaushik-thank god for decent thoughtful guys like you...
@the thing- i was bloghopping and cam across your blog...
@deepti-i think the blank noise project has opened a lot of guys' eyes... i donno how far it'll be effective in making them keep a look-out for such things from now on.. but i just cant believe that so many guys didnt know it happens so much right here in India.
@echos & death-i agree with you. but it is impractical. not all women are saints. what if a woman has something against a man and decides to take revenge this way? and leave an innocent man scarred for life... leave alone the pain..
@bakwaas-thank you.. and glad to see you're back...
@deaths head roy-well.. i know.. and don u think its the responsibility of the good ones to make sure that at least what goes in front of them doesn't go unnoticed at the very least?
@blah blah blogger-that is the exact reason why most girls prefer not to raise an issue. and besides its a lot of bother.
@amit-isi- yes, uncle.. i hope we do.. because the situation is getting more and more intolerable by the day...
Always knew such things existed , but didnt know the situation was this bad !
One thing is for sure ,even if there is a gal anywhere near me , however hard the bus driver might slam the brake , i will surely stay out of any ladies way !!!
maybe its the animal instinct , but the way 99% of guys look at women is not as their mother or sis , but actually very few ppl go to the level of groping , But the sad part is most ppl do the same thru their mind
I dont claim to be very innocent, and mite entertain such thoughts like majority ...
I dont think any kinda education will help reform this kinda attitude , men from all strata of society do such cheap things , years back in college had heard a lot of friends relate their 'wonderful experiences' of groping what they dubbed willing yet showing token protest females.
those boys were educated , were studying in a college interacting with girls in their class , still could do such things in public ...
only when some guys like these tried the same during a bus journey on couple of girls of my class 'under our care' did some guys like me realise , how horrible it was.
Dont know how far it will be true , i believe we are evolving and becoming liberal as a scoeity .Men still have trouble accepting the fact that women are stepping out of kitchen and are competing with them and are giving them a run for their money.Gradually they will get used to this and these kinda behaviour will be on decline ....
I like this background makes it easy to read. Include my name, address, signature anything in support of saying NO to EVE TEASING or even any sort of unrespectful treatment to women, be it home or outside. There are may cases where mothers, wives are not treated the way they should be. It all originates from the same thought. Women being treated as an OBJECT! I might write about it sometime, all depends on time!
Hey Anna, i have to tell u, its a great post.
Anna, what did you do, to the background this is so hard to read!
Hi anna..
Firstly gr8 post. Nice to see u all getting proactive. After all finally it's the victimised ones who'll get down to something and not keep talking(its a fact).
Now as far as the cause goes.. to some extent we can trace it to upbringing and peer. For the prevention.. Castration would truly be a really earth shaking action .. but in a country like ours.. i dunno how feasible it'll be(maybe china or somewhere with some military dictator kinda setting because in India such power has a possibility of misuse with such a corrupt setup).
I feel a start would be with something like LARGE notices being put up in every possible public place warning the prvs of the gravity of the situation. Also in the same way getting the decent section of the public proactive against these guys.
Keep it up.. Maybe u can start with a petition or something! V'll all be signing that obviously..
Cheers
PS: As a guy.. I have NEVER physically teased any girl. Its just the one odd letching things on the road or somewhere with a bunch of guys.
@anonymous..
Thanks..
But i wish you wud tell me who you are..
or at least the first letter of your name..
bah! its so hard trying to address replies to "anonymouses"
oh u dont no me(& vice versa), Im Anmol, a friend of Kaushik.. came here thro his blog.
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