So yesterday, I was sitting out in my balcony, with a book in my hand, and I knew that if it was a perfect world I would have had a coffee in my hand and a blanket wrapped around me because it would be snowing. But its not. Actually.. if it was a perfect world, I would have had a cigarette in my hand, not even a coffee.
My roommate doesnt like me smoking in the house. I know I have a right to do what I want to, its my place, as well.. But in all fairness, I didnt smoke when I started living here. But now I do. I never understood what people got from smoking. Booze was different.. there's significant high, and loss of control/inhibitions, whatever - Its fun (right about till you start throwing up.) But smoking? No particular high.. Just a 'need' to smoke. Even once I started smoking, and loved it... I never got the 'need' to smoke. In fact I always thought, that when I start getting that 'need' would be a great time to never look at a cigarette again.
Well.
Its here. Its not overwhelming. and I dont feel I'll die if I dont smoke. But its still there. A small niggling at the back of my mind when I havent smoked in a day or two. I know I should stop right now.. I'm just not sure I want to.
Wednesday, April 08, 2009
Smokin' !!!
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3 comments:
Don't stop. :)
I quit smoking on December 31st 2008. I've only smoked on two weekends since then - when I visited my cousins. I am surprised how the 'need' isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I'd been smoking for a long time. Quitting was a piece of cake. Staying quit is hard. I still get the urges to smoke once in a while. I convince myself that the 'quit' isn't permanent.
The occassionaly cigarette keeps the beast happy.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW!!!!
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